Self-Care Summer Part 2: Music
“One thing about music, when it hits, you feel no pain” — Bob Marley
Anxiety Update:
Has it been better? Slightly.
I still haven’t been able to find anything that really keeps it under control, but it has been slightly more manageable lately. I am writing this now because this has been a particularly anxious day and I thought I would be open about it.
What am I worried about today? Nothing. There’s never anything specific, there’s just a bunch of floating “what ifs” buzzing around my brain that doesn’t warrant any consideration. But that anxiety demands they are considered so here we are- chest tight, thoughts wild.
Some days are better than others. When I started this, I just wanted to use it as a way to be held accountable for actually trying things to help me instead of just staying frozen. But I am finding out, that anxiety is hard to understand and hard to talk about. I want to start and continue that conversation. I want others to feel comfortable sharing where they are because it is so much more than just fear or worry. When you do struggle with anxiety, you might feel unheard or misunderstood. When you don’t struggle with it, it might be hard to picture why someone might fret over seemingly nothing. I’m hoping to begin to bridge that gap.
Music.
In order to give each self-care idea the time it deserves, I have wanted to take my time and try them for a few weeks to really assess if they help or not. I am happy to report that I have my first successful self-care activity!
I wanna preface this by saying that music and how you use it, will look different to each person. I am not instrumentally inclined. But I really love getting lost in a song, dancing to it and the feeling of being at a concert.
Recently, getting lost in a really good song or a song that has lyrics that apply so perfectly to what I am feeling, has helped. It has given me words to describe what I am feeling, a way to express a complicated thought, or just a way to get out some energy by performing a sold-out concert for my steering wheel.
Growing up dancing, and now teaching, I have always loved the feeling of moving to music. Just let it take your body wherever it wants to go. There is a freeing feeling in just moving and not having a plan. As someone who wants control over every situation, I think this challenges and comforts me in seeing that good outcomes can come from not always having a plan.
Finally, there is no better feeling of euphoria, than being in a crowded room with your favorite band and 500 other people who love them. I recently saw Stand Atlantic in a tiny room connected to a bowling alley and it was 92 degrees, with zero airflow, and absolutely amazing. I didn’t care that I was sweaty or that my curls had fallen. I was just dancing and singing and having a blast with everyone else. And there, during the song “hair out”, I realized that music was self-care.
Like I did with shopping, I think music falls into a “self-care pill” bucket. I think that music is an iron pill. Hear me out, iron as in the thing you use (or should use, I never do) to flatten wrinkles in clothing. A lot of times my brain, in an anxious state, looks a lot like a shirt that was shoved, unfolded, into a drawer while it was still slightly damp- incredibly wrinkled. Even when you put the shirt on and try to use it, it's still wrinkled- it's not serving its purpose to the best of its ability. Music irons out my brain. It doesn’t solve any problems or have difficult conversations. It doesn’t ask for a break or makes a plan. It just allows my brain to straighten out so that I could start to take action.
Are there cons to music? Probably. There are cons to everything. I would say, if you don’t have music you love, it might be frustrating to use it as a calming mechanism- you can’t plug your iron in with no power.
As I continue down this path of figuring out how to have anxiety and fill my arsenal with tools to help me when I need them, I think music is one to keep close and use often.
I had a suggestion from a reader, of connecting with creation. So I am going to give that one a whirl next and see where it falls. Will I actually spend time in-gasp- nature?? Probably not but you never know!
Thank you for sticking with me as I learn to calm the f**k down.
